In a past post, I shared a poem which my son-in-law, Andrew, had chosen for his wedding to my daughter, Ashley, entitled Love Her More and Love Her Less. This past month, Andrew enjoyed the privilege of being the best man at his only brother’s wedding. For the occasion, he wrote his own version of brotherly advice. I think it is worthy to be added to Piper’s advice and comes from the heart of one who is in the throes of young married life and welcoming his brother to it.
Advice to a New Groom by Andrew Jacobson*
You’ve been given something greater than treasure
In which God calls you to delight with great pleasure.
So to help you down that path, here’s some advice
For how to properly love your wife.
Should your wife try to communicate,
Though your ability to talk isn’t innate,
Try to keep up a healthy conversation diet
And remember to love her more than quiet.
If you feel that she has gotten too relaxed
And hasn’t completed enough tasks,
Resist a workaholic’s proclivity
And love her more than productivity.
If, by some strange irrationality,
She should keep you from punctuality,
Resist the urge to leave her behind
And love her more than being on time.
If your wife should crowd the house with people
To the point where you wonder if it’s legal,
Or if she volunteers you for her family’s vacation,
Remember to love her more than isolation.
If your laundry pile is getting high
And you wonder why she keeps passing it by,
Consider that she is not getting paid
And remember to love her more than a maid.
If you start drowning yourself in pages
Seeking to digest the wisdom of sages
And forget how good she looks,
Remember to love her more than books.
If you over invest in your learning,
Always and only to your studies returning
And begin to make your wife secondary
Remember to love her more than seminary.
If she would give you confirmation
To pursue even more education
And you obtain the title of Ph.D.,
Remember to love her more than a degree.
If by grace she should be with child,
You’ll find her attitude might move past mild.
Do whatever she bids you, please!
And remember to love her more than ease.
Should you be awoken by your newborn’s nightly sob
And roll over to remind her it’s her job,
Before you go back to counting sheep,
Remember to love her more than sleep.
Should the spending, saving, and budgeting detract
And on your marriage have a negative impact,
Remember to love your earthly honey
More than all this world’s money.
Above all this, look to our Savior’s life
As the supreme model for loving your wife.
Consider the way in which he came,
Humbly setting aside all He could claim.
Consider the way in which he died,
Suffering the cross, to save his bride.
Consider the way his work proceeds
Always for his bride how he intercedes.
How he stands against all rivals as her defender
That he might present her to himself in splendor;
How he washes her in the water of His Word
So that love for him would be constantly stirred.
Groom, remember today’s I do is just the start
And you’ve made a vow “’til death do us part.”
So with this last word do you I send,
Love your bride faithfully to the end.
* Personal names have been removed with Andrew’s permission.